Perfectionist

A person who is displeased by anything that does not meet very high standards.
I don't see a perfect world, so as it was not created the way i wanted. I don't want to complain but just want to make the point that this was not created by a perfectionist.
Don't be bothered about this and be the change you want to see.

Ahem...Question of Destiny!!!

The most intriguing question i have right now is where am i going? I know i am not in the right path. I have seen too many dawns lazily, initially it was fun.. But at the dusk i see myself loosing the race by a lap everyday. I feel i am destined ( this is a tall claim for me) for something, still i feel ashamed of what i am right now. This is also the process that i had to undertake for what that awaits me( Atlast some consolation). I always ask when? when am i going to do but it never dawns on me that its Now or never( A popular ad :)). I keep watching me always, what i do? how i do? am i better? to the irony i am silent watcher always... Stuck to do the mistakes i do always.
To the popular belief that I (That is you in your case) is capable of acomplishing anything i desire... I got a lot of options to explore so i get confused to choose and be the same as what i am. I think you must have known about Davini( not the CS player) he is well known for his master pieces, the sad part his most of his works are incomplete. He is a bunny hopper, like me( atlast i am satisfied with the comparision) but still i cant bunny hop in CS :'( . This character is hindering me to complete this blog even. I have a motivation to work but not for long to even finish it. Somebody shoot my head to change my attitude( Is there any one wanting to change my attitude.. Tell me i wud be glad). World has a lot of losers who like thier kind(Atleast I wud) hoping this would answer my question...

The INdecisive GURU

Being used to everything is one kind of suffering a person can undergo voluntarily. In plain English - Not minding to jump into a well if someone asks you to do so... As you believe its OK to adjust with everything. This is a passion of being the passive, humble being you want to become. But you should know when to say YES and when to say NO. Getting used to accepting things other thing is one of the side effects of being a good(very good) boy to others... This cant be cured by being a bad boy. The cure is understanding the balance of following a habit. Being good boy doesn't make the world a better place to live,it just adds the burden on you. Just help others by allowing them to carry the burden themselves if you feel that they should learn from their mistakes.
But 'Every habit has a side effect' thats what i believe. I have stated a ambiguous statement but that is a truth. If you are compulsively following something then there is a possibility that you may end up in all the wrong things that are possible. Better you take a break and relax, change, play thats what life is all about. Like way you think about a person will be change drastically over a period of time. Life is a short time to understand yourself and correct your mistakes. Don't try to correct it... Let it flow as a river. You will know what to do.

Try to figure out why i kept the title..... :)

HIS maintenace project...

I see God as a bad programmer with poor quality. I appreciate the complexity of his skill still he lacks to maintain bug free program. He does a lot of debugging as you have witnessed a lot of stories(histories or whatever) about the messiahs and the prophets who are the developers of god, who deploy the patches for all the bugs reported. but every time all the bugs are not fixed at a time. They are like a windows OS with lot of service pack and each service pack has its own bug. We users find the back doors everywhere and we find the loop holes in all the patches he sends.. This maintenance job is never ending and he promises us for every meeting that this would be the last patch.
We are like a self replicating, self learning, continuously evolving ai application. This evolution is targeted to be a super-program with no bug and the universal knowledge but we are built with a lot of conflicting rules. Let me list a few observations.

• We like to copy the efficient approach but this copying has stopped the brilliant minds to think further
• We are likely to remember the awkward mistakes that we did rather remembering the rights we did. This is done in keeping in mind that we would rectify the mistakes, but this piece of code has a bug which preoccupies us in regretting for the mistakes. This weighted balance is not properly formulated leading to a negative result
• The inherent replication quality of us tends to copy the bugs easily in the gene copying program that is a serious problem if we are being manufactured in large quantities, the probability of the bugs popping up in the wider set becomes more.
• The input that we take for the survival of the program has the fix for a particular problem but it triggers other events like introducing a cancerous cell in our body.
• Those programs that meet the specification are very few and the requirement of the program is overloading the resource.

If these are the conditions of the current project by the ultimate God. He is the one who introduced the bugs in the first place. Then how can he tell that we are choosing a wrong path and leading to the destruction of mankind. If he is the ultimate super being he should have wanted us to lead a program flow which leads to Apocalypse or he is a really bad programmer in screwing up the system. The main question is if he likes to create a good program why does he wants that to disintegrate? Cant he stop the good thing from dyeing or he is sadistic in destroying a good thing. Or if he knows the whole program flow of the system and is watching over the system all the time he has a worse job than me, doing the most boring job than me.This makes me feel good in pointing out his bugs as a Tester!
Man give me a feedback..

Holi-Day

A DEMON-stration of colors

Drilling my thoughts

Yet another office day was this week end. But today there was something special about everything. Morning bath was chilling as ever with no power supply and the cold water, it was chilling! I was lazy to wake up after knowing nothing to worry about work today. But i did not expect me to come to office at 11, i was expecting i would be late than that. I was really glad to see moon at 1 O' Clock in the afternoon. It was a real beautiful sight wished i had a camera and expertise to capture that beauty.

Now lets come to the topic about my thought, this may sound rubbish to you but the process of self discover has to go through these i guess. Often i used to think unintentionally about events that are irrelevant, nonsensical sentences someone spoke about something. That will be too subtle to discuss on that. But those words would be coming again and again repeatedly annoying me. This distracted thought would be what i find generally difficult to agree with. Many small findings would be there, easy to look over them and forget. But they are what that gives me a character. Too subtle to notice are these kinds of words that come to our mind.

Now about blending, I am feeling a strong urge to learn blender3D, but let us see how long my will proceeds towards the goal.. You are the sole witness to this.. keep a watch over me.

Still Life

I am been imprisoned in a painting, a painting that looks beautiful to the onlookers. Shows a variety of colors but i am its prisoner for life. It asks us to do what we are supposed to do daily, if we cross those rules the painting will be ruined. Predetermined what we should do, we are left with few options in hand. We have the option of letting loose of these ties that binds, but we are afraid of the uncertainty that arise in due course. But remember either way life is going to be hard. You will be a slave of this life soon, used to the same routine you cant escape the trap... The quicker you leave this quick sand you can escape or you will be a part of it recruiting more victims in this pit.. Life has become in this still portrait in this corporate world, being alone in a cubicle with unknown neighbors, afraid of every moving object behind your back is sick. Let me breath fresh air, let me do what i like, let break free of this frozen world....

God - a prelude

I thought of writing about my opinion and the way i perceive God, the God in me...God as a concept,etc.. but i am a bit lazy to start the thought flow. But there are incidents in life that keeps u in track of what u have to be eventually.
Today i stumbled across this book, God's Debris by Scott Adams. Actually i was searching for the cartoon strip and came across his blog about this book. This is a pretty interesting concept he was talking about. I haven't read it still but something made me blog this event.
Some one might stumble across it like me.

Jus download this pdf and give a glance over it. It might be worth the effort..

http://www.andrewsmcmeel.com/godsdebris/

Death

Are you afraid of death? Sometimes I feel like stop living anymore, bored of living a lifeless life. The feeling that I have nothing to loose and I wont be missed by this world for long me feel that I am one of those who don’t fear death. After I am gone for a brief period of time I would be remembered and then my family and friends would be clouded with their worries and forget me from their world and it is an inevitable truth. I have done this to my friend and will do so for others who had passed away, a thought will come I would be joining them soon. I then feel why should I fear death it’s a part of life but I have my own fears of living in this, not so friendly world but I never worried about dieing.

But always there will be situation that will change your belief. This applies to every proven theory there will be an instant of disproving it, the irony of this theory is when it is applied to this theory, it also won’t. This kind of situation arose to me of breaking the belief that I am not worried about death. Every time I go home I have strange feeling the moment I think of leaving my home at Erode. This feeling of separation from the dear ones makes me feel very uneasy. This separation is temporary but this feeling makes me sick for the whole day. Separation of death is permanent but how am I supposed to handle that. The pain during death is just temporary but the ultimate question of our existence after that puts us in a insecure situation. To be consoled of ourselves of these ambiguous situations of life we have come up with these concepts of life after death, heaven and hell etc.. Jus post me your comments plz, I would be grateful.